farters have to be the big spoon...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
