so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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