Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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