it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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