and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
