East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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