plz talk dirty to me
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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