let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
