There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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