She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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