I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
