i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
