You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize