im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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