does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
