Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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