would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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