I'm jealous of your bromance
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
