false alarm. still invincible.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
