Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She's the barista slut.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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