don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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