I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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