So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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