I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
