so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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