I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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