Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
