Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm passing your future prison.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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