you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
