Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
