i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize