You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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