i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
