Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
