you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
