yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
being pregnant is like rehab
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
