let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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