Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
