It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My ass is underappreciated
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
