Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
