just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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