I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
