i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
