So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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