so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
