My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
one might say we're banned from that church
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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