we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
