I must be too annoying 4 u.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
