Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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