I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize