Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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