There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
