Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize