the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
