What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
