Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
