I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
